Someone who read the blog post "Wanting to Be Deaf," wrote to me, admitting to having made herself deaf, and now she regrets it big time. She asked that I anonymously share her story as a warning to to hearing people who want to become deaf. I am sharing it in full, anonymously, of course.
I recently read your article about people who want to become deaf. I was one of those. I was born with a deformed and useless right ear, but my hearing was 100% in the left ear. For some reason, I felt the need to be deaf. I was already self-harming and I wanted something more permanent (yes, I am seeking help). I faked three auditory exams, each one letting the decibel level get a little lower until I just stopped raising my hand and they all thought I was deaf. My doctor never tested my auditory nerve. He put in a CI. Still wanting to be deaf, I faked that it wasn't working. I had the auditory nerve in my right ear severed because I claimed I had tinnitus and had read that cutting the nerve might help (it was a lie, but, amazingly, my doctor had heard that, too). Because that ear was useless, he cut the nerve. Then later the CI was removed because I was claiming it wasn't working and didn't want it in my head. I needed ECTs for my depression, so they had to take it out.
It's been 10 years since I've been stone deaf. Absolutely 0% hearing. All due to unnecessary surgeries. Do I regret it? Almost every day. Before becoming deaf, I did professional musical theatre. Now I cannot only not hear the music, but I can't sign either because I can't hear my voice. My speech is still good though. I've learned ASL and actually teach it now. But to anyone out there who's thinking they want to be deaf, please heed my warnings: it's lonely, it's hard on you and everyone around you to adjust, there's a grieving period that could last...your entire life, it won't make life easier. Just the opposite.
I am now, on top of my other mental illnesses, a recluse. I'm scared to go anywhere where I have to interact with hearing people. [Guide comment: But above she said she teaches sign language now] Except when I tutor...in my home, so I don't have to leave. I hope my story might help someone. Don't use my name, but use my story. It's true and it's sad. Oh, and yes, I'm still self-harming. The deafness made my life 100% more stressful....even being fluent in sign.
Wow. Maybe mental health therapists should be more aware that depressed/mentally ill hearing people might want to become deaf?
Related: Mental Health Services for Deaf
I’ve come across similar stories. It’s very sad. I hope this person will find the right kind of professional help and soon feel no urge to self-mutilate.
I personally find it hard to believe that any hearing person would want to be deaf. Who would want the frustration of the difficulty of communicating with hearing people? Who would want to be unable to view Internet video? Who would want to miss out on the words to songs? Being deaf ain’t no bed of roses!
I’m upset that a Doctor would be fooled enough to put a CI in someone who doesn’t need it!
Who needs the words to songs? All hearing people do is repeat the same three words like 80 times then blow up a drum and they call it music. You know, I miss the days of great Deaf musicians like Beethoven.
I hav been profoundly HoH in both ear and hav Tinnitis since 6 yo. Can not beleive some Audi/Otologist would jus give CI lik that. AND cut Auditory Nerve to stop Tinnitus ? Has Dr. aware that those born w/out Au Nurve can still suffer Tinnitus? Very Bad info here and stupid all around..
Ummm, a bunch of this story doesn’t ring true – especially about the doctors performing surgery without checking first. I hope this person gets the help they need.
I think some people want to be deaf not because of a sexual fetish but because they simply want silence and want to cut themselves away from the world as much as possible. I think like this because the only words I hear from people are nasty and spiteful and hateful. I hardly ever hear good things from people and most of the time I wish I could just switch my hearing off for good!