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HOH Shouldn't Date Deaf?

One Hears Some, Other Hears Less

By

Updated April 17, 2011

community, even when the partner is supportive or grew up with hearing loss themselves. Any good reason for this?"
About Visitor

"Hello, I am deaf and have been happily married to a hard of hearing man for 19 1/2 years. I am very much involved in the deaf communities where we live. We use sign language or read lips. Many of my friends accept my husband as one of them and I see no problem with the mixture of deaf and hard of hearing marriages! Perhaps it depends on who you hang around with."
LADYBUG1926

"There is no "high divorce rate" with Deaf/non Deaf - it is a myth put forward by people who assume that any divorce or separation between so called 'mixed' couples is becs of the 'racism' that has existed. Count up how many Deaf/Deaf relationships that break down ... now count up the non Deaf/ non Deaf relationships that have broken down ... the percentage will be the same, if all other factors are equal ... same for mixed marriages/relationships.

I have to say, my husband and I were lucky. I was in the community before I met him (Im hearing, he is Deaf) - and so people knew me. But there is still a bit of hesitation sometimes from some of them - but only once or twice has anyone mentioned anything about mixed marriage, and that was largely in the first few years. We have been married over 5 years now, and I think people are finally realising we arent just a flash in the pan. (This wasnt helped by the fact we met, got engaged 3 months later, and married 3 months later again ... altogether 6 months and 1 day from meeting to marriage)

I have heard about one Deaf (a friend of mine) telling another hearing person that Deaf should marry Deaf ... but the younger community is less like that. Maybe becs we come from a smaller population of Deaf people (about 3, 500 in our city) and maybe becs younger Deaf are mainstreamed, there are more hearing people coming into the community. But it is largely a non-event.

There will likely always be some resistance to me ... but we just pick who we mix with, and dont mix with snobs ... and just beat them by doing our own thing, setting up our own groups ... and we are succeeding!

For those who are meeting opposition ... it is likely jealousy from the Deaf community that an eligible bachelor/girl has been taken out of circulation. If it is a huge problem that affects your relationship, perhaps look at moving into a community where the Deaf person is not so well known .. then you both can start from scratch."
CLDEANS

"That is really sad to hear of the person who was shunned and ostracized from deaf community just bse she is HOH. I am deaf myself, and I am married to a hearing man. I've only been really involved in deaf community now for a couple of years, but, I've been accepted fully by my deaf friends who grew up in the deaf community.

Unfortunately, my husband is not interested in the deaf ways at all, so people don't talk to him much bse he can't sign, and I always have to interpret for him if they do talk to him.

I've actually had a few deaf people ask me why I didn't marry a deaf man, especially since my hearing husband doesn't want anything to do with the deaf community. I always have to explain that I met him long before I became involved in the deaf community.

With my group of friends, a lot of us don't like the term HOH, only bse we see ourselves as deaf. Most of us grew up oral and only started signing recently, but we've all been fully accepted into the deaf community. Hearing people are welcomed into the deaf community too, especially when they express interest and sign.

I really hope this person's deaf community will realise how silly, petty and mean they are being, and stop hassling her just bse she is "HOH" in their opinion. She and her deaf boyfriend love each other, and that's all that should matter. Plus, she has shown that she WANTS to be involved with deaf community, so what's the problem???

I get really annoyed hearing of things like this, bse so often, some deaf complain of prejudice from the hearing world...but then, they go and do something like this!!! Bit of a case of the pot calling the kettle black if you ask me!!"
AuslanGirl

"Im not super active in our deaf community, but because of the small number of deaf, I some of the 'gossip'. Our community is very open to hoh and hearing alike. Several of the prominent members date/marry hearing and HOH. Many interpreters get involved and recently one married someone who is HOH. It just seems to be accepted. The community is VERY supportive of the interpeters or people who are wanting to learn sign. They even setup an ASL club just to help out people going for their QA"
EDTERP

"The world can be a very harsh place at times and it is something we need to experence. I believe in the good of all people and believe that you recieve just as much as you give. I live in Corpus Christi, Texas and the deaf community here is wonderful. I am in the Interpreting program at Del Mar College and the Deaf and HOH Community

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