Becoming Deaf
Q: How did you know you had gone from HOH to deaf?
A:My audiologist only comes to town on Tuesdays. I awoke one Tuesday morning and put in my hearing aids, connected the FM system that goes with my hearing aids, and turned on the television. When the hearing aids, FM and television were all turned to full volume, I could get a rumble of noise but nothing I could clearly distinguish.
Thinking either my hearing aids or the FM system were broken, I went straight to see my audiologist. She checked them and turned and looked at me with an expression I had never seen on her face before. She walked over and looked directly at me and said, "they are working fine," and I knew then what had happened.
She explained I already had the strongest aids but if I would feel better that she would be glad to give me another hearing test.I turned down the offer, thanked her, and walked out of the office to greet what I knew had become my silent world. I felt totally empty and disoriented at that point. I took a couple of days to be alone to adjust what I had learned, and then set out to make the necessary changes in my life style.
Accepting Deafness
I became deaf earlier, but I have only been deaf for two years. That sounds contradictory but please let me explain. It took me another year to be able to acknowledge myself as a deaf person.
During that first year I classified myself as a "hard of hearing person that could not hear". I was so used to being hard of hearing that it was very hard for me to let go of that classification. As a manager, I would have to testify before a legislative committee that met during the year, so our legislators were used to working with interpreters and me.
While supporting some deaf legislation as a deaf consumer, I attended a legislative hearing with some deaf friends. At the beginning, Senator Fred Bradley from my hometown, asked how many deaf citizens were in the hearing room. Hands went up all around me and then I realized that Senator Bradley and my deaf friends were looking at me. I started slowly raising my hand and then found myself standing with my head and my hand held high. My friends followed suit and suddenly the hearing room was filled with standing deaf people waving their hands in a deaf cheer. Even though I had lost my hearing one year before, that is the day I became deaf and proud of it.
I still have a little hearing left in the very high and low decibel band. Recently after having an extended ear infection, they did another hearing test. I noticed this time that they did not have me repeat or identify words, but press a button if I could detect any sound. I knew I had just been given the hearing test for the profoundly deaf.
Q:Do you still wear a hearing aid?
A:I continue to wear a hearing aid in each ear. I say the main reason I do is because hearing aids allow me to judge my own voice volume better, which is true. However, I wonder if the real reason why I isn't simply because they have become part of me. The first thing I do when I open my eyes in the morning is to put on my hearing aids and glasses and the last thing I do at night is to remove them.
Living as a Deaf Person
At work I lipread when working directly with staff on a one-to-one basis or in small groups. When training, attending hearings or large meetings, or in a location where people are scattered, I use interpreters.At church I lipread in Bible study class but have an interpreter for the main church service. Socially I lipread but always use an interpreter for weddings and funerals.Being fluent in both lipreading and signing, I know that there is no way for a person by lipreading alone to comprehend all that is being said, and I also know there is no way to watch the expression and body language of a speaker while watching an interpreter. I believe that for any deaf person to function at their highest peak of efficiency, they need to be trained in and use Total Communication. They need to be lipreaders and signers and be able to shift easily and gracefully between the two.Q:Have you joined any deaf organizations?
A:There have never been any deaf organizations promoted in this area. Until I became aware of them through the About Deafness/Hard of Hearing Site, I had no knowledge of any organization or their mission. I have submitted my application to the National Association of the Deaf (NAD) and to the Association of Late Deafened Adults (ALDA) even though they have no active chapters in this vicinity.
Identity as a Person with Hearing Loss
Q:Now that you are deaf, do you identify more with HOH people or with deaf people?
A: I have been hearing and hard of hearing and am now deaf. Because of that unique situation, I have experiences in common with each of them, and claim for myself a small corner in each of the hearing, hard of hearing and deaf worlds.
