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Deafblind Triplet Daughters

From Jamie Berke,
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Now That's a Parenting Challenge

In summary, the expectation is that all the girls have the tools to talk; we just have to help them sort out their world first.

Daughters Get Educated

About: What educational approach is being used?
Liz and George: They are being educated with an oral and sign approach. We sign and say everything within their routine. We hope to mainstream in the future but I believe the girls will always have some sort of interpreter in school.

Daughters Play Little

About: How do they play with other children?
Liz and George: They don't really play with other children. Very rarely do they play with each other. Sophie will laugh and become excited when she sees her sisters trying something new, but that's about it. They eat off each other's plate, steal one another's cups and pillows... I mean they are definitely aware of one another but that's about it.

Parents Challenged Daily

About: What is life like with deafblind triplets?
Liz and George: Twenty-four hours of hard work. Blind kids don't sleep well, so I rarely get a full night's sleep. We are working on table manners but spills are frequent so we are constantly sweeping and mopping. Two of my triplets are not potty trained so we go through quite a lot of diapers. I'm constantly on watch to make sure they don't fall down the stair or run into something. They can't tell me if something hurts, how they're feeling, or if they need a cuddle. In those ways, it's a lot like having infants. I worry a lot about meeting all of their needs. It's quite a bit of guesswork.

There are good parts too. Those first steps were like watching them win the marathon. They work so hard for every little gain. The highs are higher and the lows are bottomless.

Having deafblind triplets is going to bed every night and knowing that I didn't do enough. The odds are stacked against me. There is no way for me to give them everything they need. Sometimes I wish that if it was my fate to have three deafblind children that I could have them five years apart just so I could give each of them all they need in these developmental years. We're not quitters though and we are making slow but steady progress. I just pray that God will fill in the gaps where I couldn't.

Parents' Typical Day

About: What is a typical day with your triplets like?

Morning

Liz and George: I wake up about 7 a.m. and test their cochlear implants and put their batteries in their packs. Then I wake the girls by rubbing their backs. I help dress them and change their diapers. I walk them into the bathroom and help them brush their teeth and then fix their hair. I walk them downstairs one by one and put them at the kitchen table where they get breakfast.

After breakfast, I give them their canes and walk them out the bus stop. They go to school Monday through Friday for most of the day. I have my own business that I do from our home while they are gone. The girls are in their own classroom and they have one teacher and two paraprofessionals. They take the girls through a [learning process] that concentrates on routine.

Afternoon

In the afternoon at home, we have private therapists (OT, PT, ST) four days out of the week. We try to take them outside if the weather is nice. The younger kids in the neighborhood will often stop by and say hello. I try to have the house cleared out by 7 p.m. so we can eat like a family.

Dinner

They are pretty good at picking up the utensils; they just tend to throw it down after taking a bite. Sophie will eat anything that you let her dip into ketchup. We take our time eating dinner.

Bedtime

About 8:30 p.m. they take a bath together. They LOVE their bath, which is a good thing because they really need it after supper. We put them in their jammies and to bed about 9 p.m. Emma usually stays up until midnight and then Zoe wakes up at about 3:30 a.m.

Weekends

On weekends, we will spend a lot of time outside. I have a small trampoline, and rocking horse. I'll get some play doh out or some other toys. I then rotate their activities every hour like a circuit course.

Big Sister Helps

About: Does Sarah help? In what way?
Liz and George: We call Sarah the invisible child. She stays away from the commotion most of the time. We encourage her to play with her sisters. When we take all of the kids somewhere, she helps guide one of them. She fetches diapers, cups, and little things they need. She helps me watch them at the park. She likes to fix their hair too.

Updated: March 24, 2008
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