currently learning ASL via books and video courses. I have falling in love with the language and will continue to progress with it..."
-AQUABLUE1966"Deaf-Hearing relationships can be successful...recently involved with a Deaf/hearing impaired girl...hearing loss was not a factor in us breaking up...
...Although we communicated orally most of the time, she helped me with learning to Sign and I was able to socialise with her Deaf friends...
Sometimes she misunderstood me when we communicated orally...So patience for both the Hearing and the Deaf is crucial (especially when the Hearing bloke's Signing is not fluent...)
...if the Deaf person signs, then the Hearing person needs to be able to communicate or learn to communicate in Sign also. It is not just an issue of being understood, but it means that the Hearing person is sharing something of their partner's identity-their language..."
-BLOKE9
"marriage can be stressful in a hoh/hearing because one tends to forget that the hoh and hearing is not from similar backgrounds. I had to educate myself in basic speech while I was growing up and he didnt. The background of people lives I think should be similar for the marriage to work. Yes, deaf marriages stay together longer because the understanding is there. Communication is the most important in any relationship."
-BOZOGIRL
"lost my hearing suddenly and totally at the age of nearly 8...was devastating for me. I was sent to a school for the deaf where SL was not an option and, for me, lip reading and speech have been the way to go all through the years. I have never regretted not learning SL, even though lip-reading can, at times, be extremely difficult...
I was married, for many years, to a man who had normal hearing. Although we had many problems, communication was not necessarily one of them except for the fact that...his strong French accent made things more difficult..."
-About Visitor
"dating my completely deaf girlfriend for two years now. We have a great relationship and I have become almost fluent in SL...read a few posts about deaf/hearing couples being hurt and feeling left out when they go out with groups of friends together. My gf and I have had our arguments about this. I interpret everything I possibly can for her, but what she fails to realize (and I think she is not the only one) is that I am 1 person w/ 1 mind and only 2 hands. There is no possible way I could stand there and interpret everything that is being said between 3 or 4 or even more people, voice what she is saying, have my own conversation w/ my friends, and follow along at a normal pace and include myself and her at every moment of it. I always do my best to include her and let her know what is going on, but it should not only be up to the hearing spouse or bf or gf to include the deaf or hoh person. It is a group effort by everyone that is involved wherevever you go...when we go out w/ friends I let them know that my gf can lip read and to talk w/ her whenever they want. I also inform them that sometimes they need to slow down because she is missing whats going on. That way everyone feels more comfortable and they understand a little more...If people understand more, then they will make more of an effort to try to communicate, rather than not know how and be afraid or nervous to communicate."
-About Visitor
"relationship with a SL interpreter, so of course that is helpful. But there are always communication problems in relationships between two people. What happens now is that we have communication challenges in two different langauges!"
-About Visitor
"HOH...married a hearing man (34yrs)...I read lips extensively and know some SL...One on one is great! But, in a group, I am lost. Most people who don't know me think I am being rude, or that I am ignoring them. But, I don't hear what they say so I don't turn around or know they are talking to me...often hear people talk but don't know what they say...people don't believe that I am HOH because I have mastered the art of lip reading and can understand. That is,until they turn around and I can't see them."
-About Visitor
"married to a HOH Man...refuses to learn SL, I am hearing and I know SL, I have studied for 15 years and that's my major in college. It puts a strain in our relationship, I just hope he can eventually learn before he completely loses his hearing...have tried yelling, ignoring, and even not talking to him, and he still won't learn to sign...maybe someday he will want to learn to communicate with his kids.
Spouses don't push them just let them be. It makes them feel awful when you yell and do all that. They will learn when they get frustrated enough without communication."
-About Visitor
"married for 10 years to a man who is deaf. I learned SL early on and continued on after we were married because it was a part of of my job. SL also made it easier to communicate with my husband...suggest that you take your husband with you the next time you go for a hearing test.
