Your Bullying Experience
I lost my hearing in later life and had some restored after operations.
There have been several instances of bullying, most profound was at the age of 12, by older boys when I moved from lower to high school. The move was a new experience and my other disabilities (as I see them now) of incredible shyness and nervousness added to the problem. The perpetrators were crafty, they picked on me and followed me around and there was no hiding place. I told my brothers and sisters at the school and I don't think they really knew the impact it was having, I didn't want to be at school, I hated it.
Your Coping Experience
There was no coping experience. Fortunately, the next door neighbor was the art teacher at the school and after 4 months of torture he saw it happening. He came to quiz me and I broke down and another pupil had to explain to him. After that the direct bullying ceased, however, the sight of them was enough to generate fear, the damage to me had been done, the indirect bullying never leaves you.
In later life I went back into school (a different school), as a midday supervisor. Being a male in this environment I was expecting lots of hassle and problems. The opposite was true, the kids loved having a male supervisor and I won lots of respect. Most important to me, no bullying happened in my controlled segment of the school, I made sure of that! I reported one incident that was happening in full view of a supervisor colleague. The difference between me and her was that I had been bullied at school and I could read the signs and the body language, the bullying signs were unmistakable. The school had introduced an anti-bullying policy and it was dealt with by peer counselors.
More recently I have experienced a type of bullying in the workplace, and my attitude today, 30 years on, is to turn away. I am good worker and colleague and if I am not respected in the workplace then I don't give these people the pleasure of my company, that is my coping strategy today.
When I hear people say that their school years were the best of their lives, I paint a different story. My childhood school years were not the best of my life, I hated school. My adult midday supervisor school years possibly were the best, the jury is out on that because I have plenty of working life to go. Ask me this question in twenty years time!
Lessons Learned
- Don't give the perpetrators the pleasure of your company.
- As an adult look out for the signs.
- Be a supporter of the weak and be cautious of the stronger bullying type!
- Weakness can be a strength.
- Bullying comes in many forms, in all shapes and sizes, and is easily disguised.
- Don't give perpetrators any fuel (or tools) to bully.
- Keep your most inner thoughts and secrets either to yourself, or only discuss them with your closest family or friends.
- Bullying is a sign of weakness, they do it to compensate for their own lack of expression.
- Pretend to love a bully, it can make them feel guilty.
Are Deaf and Hard of Hearing at Greater Bullying Risk?
Yes, more vulnerable.
