What Happened to Make You Realize What Deafness Means?
My first clue was when I was perhaps 4 years old. My grandmother had a music box that all the kids were listening to. I wasn't much interested in it until they put it up to my ear. But it was just ticks and plunks and I lost even the little interest I had. I remember my mother and grandmother giving each other significant looks.
Many other things happened after that which told me that I was different, but it wasn't until I finished fourth grade when I really felt my lostness. It was during a simple, difficult conversation, like usual, with another kid but this time the failure to communicate hit me hard.
How Did You React to Knowing This?
I was already depressed -- probably since the start of third grade. This just made me feel more depressed at my failure, more isolated from others, and more lonely than before. It was as if I had been walking down stairs and suddenly they fell away and I dropped several feet. I turned away from the human race.
Advice
- I'm not sure that a parent will often be around to help when this happens. For me, my mother and grandmother's reaction was scary, but I didn't know of my deafness then. In the end, I didn't have a good relationship with my parents because the inability to hear built a barrier -- it was just too hard to communicate. I can only advise learning signs prior to the time their child discovers their loss so that their child will have someone to fall back on. Relationships are important.
