The Third Person in the Room
Saturday April 15, 2006
An About Deafness/HOH visitor wrote:
I guess this subject could be called "The Third Person In The Room". I am a pastor to the deaf and I am hard of hearing, and my wife is deaf. I also have a deaf sister in Colorado. Recently my wife had major back surgery and I was able to be with her in the recovery and hospital rooms after her surgery. I wasn't able to get interpreters at the last minute. My wife's sister, who is hearing, was also with me. We became very irritated when the hospital staff kept talking to us as if my wife was the third person in the room or as if she wasn't in the room. They kept saying, "tell her...," or "ask her...," or "does she need anything?," or "when did she...," and such. My wife is an excellent lip reader, but we would interpret in case she didn't understand. We repeatedly had to tell them to face her and ask her the questions. On the way home from the hospital my wife's sister shared her feelings about how degrading, ignorant, and insulting they were. I told her that it wasn't the first time it has happened, and that it happens all the time to deaf people. I told her over the years, as a pastor making visits, that I constantly have to remind health care providers to talk directly to the deaf person. I told her that I have been in situations where I have visited the deaf in hosptials and the staff would call the hearing relative out of the room and talk to them. Later they would come back into the room and tell the deaf person things like, "this is what we have decided," or "I told them to do this for you." It seems to me that we need to do something to make health care people aware of this problem and that they should treat the deaf and other disabled people equal to hearing people. I hope you can help get the word out on this.
I guess this subject could be called "The Third Person In The Room". I am a pastor to the deaf and I am hard of hearing, and my wife is deaf. I also have a deaf sister in Colorado. Recently my wife had major back surgery and I was able to be with her in the recovery and hospital rooms after her surgery. I wasn't able to get interpreters at the last minute. My wife's sister, who is hearing, was also with me. We became very irritated when the hospital staff kept talking to us as if my wife was the third person in the room or as if she wasn't in the room. They kept saying, "tell her...," or "ask her...," or "does she need anything?," or "when did she...," and such. My wife is an excellent lip reader, but we would interpret in case she didn't understand. We repeatedly had to tell them to face her and ask her the questions. On the way home from the hospital my wife's sister shared her feelings about how degrading, ignorant, and insulting they were. I told her that it wasn't the first time it has happened, and that it happens all the time to deaf people. I told her over the years, as a pastor making visits, that I constantly have to remind health care providers to talk directly to the deaf person. I told her that I have been in situations where I have visited the deaf in hosptials and the staff would call the hearing relative out of the room and talk to them. Later they would come back into the room and tell the deaf person things like, "this is what we have decided," or "I told them to do this for you." It seems to me that we need to do something to make health care people aware of this problem and that they should treat the deaf and other disabled people equal to hearing people. I hope you can help get the word out on this.
Related blog posts: Going to the Emergency Room
Comments
My wife had back surgery few months ago and I wrote about it.
Check it out!
http://grantlairdjr.com/wp/2005/12/12/misty_s_surgery/