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Do Hearing Kids of Deaf Parents Yell Much?

By November 2, 2007

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Tonight I got an e-mail question from an About.com visitor:

"I work at a child care center where there is a hearing child of deaf parents. Is it typical for these children to yell/scream a lot? This child's parents have some hearing but one relies on reading lips and the other uses hearing aids. Is there anything else that would be helpful to know about these children?"


Are there any deaf parents with hearing children who can answer this one? I've never heard of that happening with a hearing child of a deaf parent.

Comments
November 2, 2007 at 10:26 pm
(1) Katherine says:

One possible hypothesis is that when a CODA screams or yells, it doesn’t bother their parents and is acceptable in their household. Now, when going in a hearing environment, these kids may not realize it’s not acceptable and needs to be reminded or taught. I could be wrong though!

November 2, 2007 at 11:54 pm
(2) Dianrez says:

When my kids were still preteens, one told me that her friends thought it was “cool” at my house because they could make as much noise as they wanted because all the adults were deaf! As it was a big house, it probably didn’t reach a level to disturb the neighbors, because the only time a neighbor came to complain was when a radio was left on too loud in an open window.

November 3, 2007 at 12:10 am
(3) LaRonda says:

Since my son was born 11 years ago, people have told me he is a loud child. Ha. He definitely has a higher volume level than his peers. The kids love to come here to play because I can’t hear them get loud. But, my husband sure can! With his feedback, my son has learned when to use his indoor voice and when to use his outdoor voice depending on who is home.

One afternoon, the kids were getting too loud here. While it didn’t bother me at all, my husband had reached his tolderance level and told the kids to go play outside or to go to someone else’s house. My son innocently replied, “But Papa, we can’t go to Ameen’s house because his mother will be overwhelmed!”

My son was so used to my high tolerance lever for the noise, that he didn’t consider his hearing father might be overwhelmed like his’ friend’s mom might be. We cracked up over this.

All that needs to happen is a little guidance about sound levels and where it’s okay to be loud and when to be quieter. Hearing children of deaf parents are completely capable of learning this and should be guided until they get it right.

~ LaRonda

November 3, 2007 at 2:02 am
(4) Darlene says:

Being a CODA and knowing a lot of CODAs, it’s a common story. Especially when playing with other coda kids at deaf clubs. The CODA organization has a great information packet for teachers about hearing kids with deaf parents at http://coda-international.org/infopacket.html

November 3, 2007 at 3:32 am
(5) geez says:

Why we have a Nanny TV? The hearing kids have many problems that any parents cannot handle them!!!!! There are many deaf parents interested to fostering children.

November 3, 2007 at 8:10 am
(6) Edna M Bloom says:

Yes, I agree that hearing child of deaf parents may yell much because his parents always yell much at him if he does not pay attention or he acts deaf himself. I admit that when my three hearing daughters never inform where they go and it caused me to look upon each of them so I gave up and yelled much for getting them to me. When they were angry at me, they ignored me when Iwas frustrated and yelled at them. I almost forget how loud I talk. They always were excited and talked so loudly in around me no matter I could not hear. It is their habit to yell but they become adult and very mature and great to handle their kids well than us did to them. Bless these hearing children of deaf parents and I always am very proud of them, hearing children!!

November 6, 2007 at 9:44 pm
(7) Ryan Pue says:

If the childs parents have any amount of hearing the child probibly hast to yell to get his parents to understand him at home. It must also be said that with people who have just a partial hearing loss and are able to speak they talk in a loud voice. I see this alot in kids who are deaf, so the same is probibly true of adults. Are the parents able to talk at all? If so the child probibly has alot of yelling at home.

November 6, 2007 at 9:58 pm
(8) Wanda says:

I would have to say yes, the younger kodas do tend to be loud. My children eventually learned that there were different sort of voices to use in different settings. They got better as they got older.
Since the hearing individual who works with this particular child is concerned, I encourage she/he makes it their own special goal to assist the child’s development along in voicing for/in a hearing situations as opposed to voicing for/in a deaf enviroment – without shaming the child.
I can not stress this enough. It is hard enough to work through the developmental process at a faster rate, without being made to believe there is something bad about being a naturally loud person ie, a coda.
Its sort of like potty training. Reward the behavior you like and ignore the behavior you want eliminated in your setting.

November 6, 2007 at 10:04 pm
(9) Annie says:

As a CODA I am a very loud person. My parents are hard of hearing and sometimes when I was younger if I didn’t know the sign or how to spell the word I would speak loudly to them. When they wanted my attention they would yell loudly at us to get our attention. Since they didn’t hear well the voice volume wasn’t an issue unless my sister and I was fighting, or the radio was exremely loud. I still talk loudly and sometimes it’s helpful.
All I can say it’s probably the best way these kids communicate to their parents. Finding a way to help them better communicate with them will probably help. And with all daycare you have to remind them to use their inside voice.

November 6, 2007 at 10:04 pm
(10) JACKIE W. says:

OK HERE I AM,, SO WE ARE DEAF PARENT AND WITH RAISE TWO CHILDREN, ONE OF MY SON IS ALMOST WILL BE 16 YEAR OLD. HE IS FINE AND HAD NO PROBLME WITH US BUT SOMETIME HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHATS HEARING SAYING AND DEAF SAYING BOTH SAME TIME YA KNOW DIFFERENT WAY BUT HE KNEW, AND WE CANT HEAR IT BUT OF COURSE KEEP AN EYE AND MAKE SURE NO SOUND TOO LOUD WHEN I GO CHECK SAID PLEASE TURN DOWN, HE RESPECT PARENT REAL WELL. ALSO MY DAUGHTER SHE IS 10 HALF YEAR OLD, VERY SENSTIVE AND VERY FREINLY, SHE KNOWS WE DEAF AND DEAL WITH IT,, SHE DOESNT LIKE TOO LOUD AS HER BROTHER FAVORITE ROCK MUSCI. SO SHE KNOWS WE ARE ALWAYS CHECK MAKE SURE NOTHING HAPPEN, BECAUSE WE ARE PART RESPOSBILE PARENT AND CHECK ALL TIME.. SHE IS WONDERFULL DAIGHTER THAT I HAD,, BOTH ARE GREAT,I KNOW SOME DEAF PARENT HARD TIME WITH CHILDREN BUT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT AND HOW TO MANAGE THEM AND CHANGE IT RIGHT WAY… IT DOESNT MATTER.. ONE TIME OUR DOG BARKING OUTSIDE, WE FIRST BOUGHT A HOUSE. SO THE COP CAME KNOCK FELT POUNDING FLOOR AND I LOOKED AND SEE WHATS IS THAT!! COP!! MY HUSBAND WALKED AND COP CAME IN AND TALKED. SO I CAME AND SAID SORRY , WE ARE DEAF AND NOT HEARING ANY THINGS, PLEASE WRITE DOWN WHAT COP STOP HERE FOR?? HE TOLD ME THAT SOME NEIGBOR COMPLAING DOG BARK, I SAID OHH NO I AM SORRY WE ARE DEAF, AND COP SAID I AM SORRY BOTHER YOU AND I WILL TELL NEIGBOR.. NO CHARGE FINE! THANKS GOD,, WE JUST GOT HOUSE, HE UNDERSTAND SO NEXT TIME SINCE 10 YEARS FINE NOTHING HAPPEN BECAUSE ALL OF OUR NEIGBOR KNOW WHO WE ARE DEAF AND LIVE HOUSE AND ANIMAL.. SO THATS WHAT HAPPEN DEAF PARENT NOT HEAR ANY THINGS BUT IF YOU WEAR HEARING AIDS OF COURSE, SO MINE NOT ANY MORE HURT EAR AND DIZZY, THATS WHY I REMOVE IT, IT NOT WORTH IT BUT CHECK EVERY TIME MAKE SURE EVERYTHING; I KNOW HOW HARD DEAF PEOPLE NOT KNOW OR HEAR ANY THINGS OR SOMETHING, OK THATS ENOUGH STORY OKAY

November 7, 2007 at 2:26 pm
(11) Kim says:

I have progressive deafness. My youngest son is the loudest of our three children and even developed a very low cry as a baby that I could hear better. When he was in preschool I was able to talk on phone with accommodations, but couldn’t hear it ring. So whenever it rang he would run through the house announcing– THE PHONE IS RINGING!! THE PHONE IS RINGING!! Same thing if someone came to the door. DOORBELL!! DOORBELL!! Friends thought he was a funny (weird) kid with his low voice and strange loud behaviors, but he turned out OK. WE just packed him off to college this past September. Like the others have mentioned kids enjoyed playing here because I was a ‘relaxed’ mom about noise, though I kept an eagle eye on them.

November 7, 2007 at 6:06 pm
(12) Jennifer says:

As a CODA child growing up I developed a loud voice–I guess it was from trying to get my mother’s attention or making sure she heard me when had her back to me (she had some hearing with the use of hearing aids). The problem was that the loud voice carried with me through life. My mother used to have to ask me to lower my voice. When I get really excited about something apparently my voice tends to get really loud. Now, just as my mother did, my husband will give me a signal when I’ve gotten too loud and I need to lower my voice.

November 8, 2007 at 10:25 am
(13) Beth says:

I am a hoh single parent with aids. I have 4 children. Growing up they were loud at home because it just didn’t bother me. However, if I could hear them without wearing my aids, I knew they were being to loud. As for school etc.. teachers repeatedly told me that my kids (3 out of 4) were “to quiet” and hard to understand. Everybody wound up in speech therapy. They had no hearing problems but I guess their difficulty came from hearing me speak.I tend to speak softly so I have been told. I also have been told “you don’t sound like a deaf person.” I think kids can be reminded to use a ” quiet voice” or “inside voice” if possible.

November 8, 2007 at 1:15 pm
(14) Pam says:

I am a CODA as well. We learn to be loud to get the attention of our parents. Since my parents couldn’t hear as well, I was free to be as loud as I could….without shaking the house (then I’d be “heard”). Deaf people tend to be less strict with children’s behavior (at least in my experience). As long as I was safe, it didn’t matter how much noise my brother and I made.

I agree with Wanda, try not to shame these kids. Growing up, I knew that our family was LOUD, and somehow, somewhere, I was made to be ashamed. I led a VERY quiet school life, and hardly said a peep. It took me a long time to find my voice. So be patient, these children just need to know there’s an indoor voice and an outdoor voice. They will learn what is appropriate or not.

November 8, 2007 at 11:50 pm
(15) beth endaya says:

I think it may depend on who the child grows with. I have a friend; both she and her husband are deaf and they have a daughter. The daughter was raised by her hearing grandmother until the age of 3, but after that, granny went abroad. The hearing child was left to the deaf parents; now she is 10 years old. I find her very polite, respectful, and she doesn’t yell when other people, like me, are around. However, when she and her parents are alone, she sometimes insists on her wants, thinking she could get it if her. I, being her mother’s best friend, have taught her a lot about manners and etiquettes, and she listens to me.

November 12, 2007 at 11:29 pm
(16) gina says:

I am a coda also…and i have figured this all out . we never had anyone telling us to “shut the hell up!” like hearing parents do to their kids!
THANKS MOM AND DAD!!

November 14, 2007 at 7:04 am
(17) Pamela says:

My husband and I had raised our hearing daughter that she used with deaf volume low or high so on like we quarrel with different volumes. One day I could not hear end of the wall of the house, she used high volume music…Friend came in and told my daughter please turn music down ….my daughter insulted how come you can hear as my parent are deaf.

November 15, 2007 at 10:16 am
(18) anonymous says:

As has already been mentioned, it is most likely a CODA-ism. However, remember that children with a hearing loss also tend to speak loudly. When was the last time their hearing was checked? Could they have a hearing loss like their parents? Worth checking in to so they can get appropriate education as soon as possible.

November 15, 2007 at 11:45 am
(19) julie says:

I am a Coda. I was allowed to be loud!! My grandparents said we were the loudest kids they ever knew. That is because we could be!! Both parents were profoundly deaf. Wouldn’ you? We knew the appropriate times to be quiet. For example, in church. We could always sign in church. There’s always a way to talk when you have deaf parents!! Gotta love it…

August 18, 2010 at 5:26 pm
(20) virginia O' Reilly says:

I am a Coda. Both my parents were profoundly Deaf so at a young age I learned very quickly not to shout, simply because it made no difference. I don’t believe all coda kids shout/yell. There are big advantages of having Deaf parents,one example is when you wanted to talk about anything you didn’t have to whisper not like my friends who had hearing parents. love it!!!! plus you could sign to your sibbling how nice the boy was without him knowing it. Not a bad life.

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