Forget Jon and Kate Gosselin...I just discovered a thread on my own forum from a deaf-hearing couple in a miserable marriage. The discussion was started by the hearing husband declaring how unhappy they are, and describing all the problems. By the time I discovered this thread, it already had five pages of postings.
Join the discussion and share your own (hopefully positive) deaf-hearing marriage experiences.
This may seem harsh, but I think the hearing man has many issues of his own, other than the state of his marriage. I mean, look at his original posting — some parts of it aren’t exactly coherent.
– Deafie happily married to hearie for 10 years
You might not realize it; but, it can be lonely. I’m 48 with hearing loss and my boyfriend has larynx cancer. We both have hearing issues, as well as he can’t speak. Frustration can happen.
Poor you. All I read was me, me and me. I happen to be the husdnad of a normal hearing wife. I have been going deaf for over 50 years. We had been married 7 years when my wife told me I was not hearing her. I went to an ENT and had a audiogram done. Sure enough my hearing was moderate to severe in the speach range. I bought hearing aids and they helped, but was never normal. I also developed Tinnitus (ringing in the ears)and Hyperacusis (very sensitive to sound). This put a big strain on our marriage and raising our 2 hearing children. I went to football game, music recidles with ear plug in my ears. My wife and I could not communite at any function with sound above my tolerance. My hearing is almost gone know and we struggle to have coversations. Not because of her but I. She writes me notes, makes phone calls for me, use text on our cell phone, etc. It’s tough but she is willing in any capacity to help me without degrading or hurting my self esteen. My hearing are too. This is what you have done to her and bet your last dollar you have reaped what you sowed. Ever thought about compassion and the world she lives in. Just look through her eyes and live with her deafness. Go to the mall, out to eat, etc. I know they work with me and they do with her. Think of her driving and the emergency vehicles she may run into due to her deafness. I experienced it first had. A fire truck had come up behind me and all other cars had stopped but mine. I did not hear the siren or horn. I just happened to look in my rear view mirror and pulled over but not until a police car had all ready pulled to the side of the road. The office pulled me over and inquired about why I did stop my car. I told her the truth. She did not give me a ticket but said she is considering sending the incidet to the motor vehicle dept. She got all of my information but have been lucky so far not to have received a letter concerning my ability to keep on driving.
Have you ever tried to get her help, like a cochlear implant. No absolutes that it will make her normal but with her lip reading and the implant, you may be shocked of her improved hearing ability. Your Insurance company may pay for it.
My wife lives in your shoes but I’m thankful she is not like you, self centered.
Hello, I am a hearing woman and am been married to a man who is deaf.
Indeed we have had our challenges. But he is a very intelligent and a loving man and one who so many people shunned upon as he is not only challenged with the disability of being deaf, but he comes from Europe.
We have been married 15 years now and he has learned ASL, English language and also went through college here in AZ and is now a respected employee of a well known Airline after losing so many jobs with the reason he is “deaf”. It seemed the attorney general to file EEO complaints simply did not exist in his case. We had to fight tooth and nail to be heard.
At this time I myself am suffering from Tinnitus severe ringing in my ears which in turn as I had recently found out could actually be the beginning of Mineres disease as I have suddenly lost my hearing in my right ear.
We communicate well and many people have asked me over and over again “how can you as a hearing woman communicate with a deaf man and be married to a deaf man” Answer I use the most universal language in the world it is called sign language. Stop and think we use sign language in many occupations today from the airlines to film making which is this industry I am working in myself.
My husband to me is a person and I do not look upon him as anything different than that of anyone else regardless if they have a disability or not.
As far as not getting along.
If there are issues and they cannot be shelved or settled between the couple then I would say just not allow frustration to set into the relationship but make a final decision go for counseling or simply end the relationship after all I tell myself one cannot argue with a person if they cannot hear you.
I feel the person in question has some issues and perhaps is lacking much needed patience.
I wish all of you good health and most of all happiness you can really make it happen if you choose to think in the realm of happiness…..
In any marriage or relationship it is give or take. I am hearing impaired. If I am in a crowd with lots of noise I cannot hear. It is frusturting. Most people think that I am rude or just ignoring them. Not so. I can hear in my right ear so I depend on my right ear to hear. My husband gets annoyed because I cannot hear. Not my fault. The guy who wrote about his wife yes sounds like he has some major(heart) issues. He knew that his wife is deaf and he hearing, therefore the issue is not that the women cannot hear it is the husband using the exuse of the wifes deafness for his own heart issues.
Evidently this man did not have a clue about Deaf and Deaf culture prior to marrying. I recently graduated an interpreter training program of which included Deaf culture. I am happy to say I understand much more than I ever did before. Recently I showed a dvd about Deaf people. There were many Deaf people different ages and different backgrounds. This was a first year class I showed the dvd. I asked the students if they would consider dating a Deaf since entering the program and learning about Deaf culture. Several said yes. This man said he came to the marriage with two legs and her only one. However, I believe it is the other way around. All her life she had to learn the “hearing” way and for this time of marriage he hasn’t learned the “Deaf” way.
It sounds like this couple has other issues than just her hearing loss. It sounds like he is blaming all their problems on her being deaf. He doesn’t say if she was late deafened or if she was deaf her whole life. I am late deafened. I can communicate pretty well. My speach is starting to deteriorate, but they said that was normal. I was with somebody who communicated very well with me when I lost my hearing..He treated me the same as he did before I lost my hearing. That’s all I want from anybody. Some people are not very good communicators even if they can hear. That is the case with my family. sometimes makes me wonder who the deaf one is. Sometimes people assume that because you are deaf, you can’t think, have any new ideas or do anything for yourself. It’s very frustrating if people don’t communicate with me and then tell other people what they think I want or need without asking me.The person that was with me when I lost my hearing passed away..So I am single again.. If I date somebody that has no communication skills well it’s obvious I wouldn’t see him again..So I don’t understand why these two people got married to begin with..I don’t think her being deaf has anything to do with their problems