LETICIAMYRA
"Wow, I was under the impression that taboos against deaf/hoh or deaf/hearing relationships was pretty much a thing of the past. Maybe it's because I live in a huge city with a diverse deaf/hoh population. I am a hearing interpreting student in a committed relationship with a Deaf man. His friends have been incredibly accepting of me. In any "mixed" relationship it is extremely important that each partner respect each other's differences. It is especially important with the Deaf community. Having a good attitude toward the community and towards ASL goes a long way in gaining their acceptance. If there are Deaf people who disapprove of our relationship, they don't say it in front of me. Mostly, they respect my boyfriend and therefore respect his choice of girlfriend. A mature attitude that I am grateful for."
PASTISPRESEN
"I'm not sure who you've been talking to, but deaf do date HOH. I'm one of them. My last gf was HOH and our breakup had nothing at all to do with Deaf/HOH issues. Nothing at all!"
DEAFLEPPERD
"I would not be surprised if this is common around the world. I have travelled to a lot of foreign places and have come across similar stories of anguish and distress being imposed on these poor people. When will this ever end? It can only end with better education and or the inevitable demise of the worldwide deaf community in the near future thanks to advances in medicine and technology. My heart goes out to the HOH lady and deaf man whom I strongly believe should not be subjected to such rubbish from the deaf community itself."
About Visitor
"I agree. Hearing, HOH, Deaf, if they match up they match up. If they love and respect one another, no big deal. Hearing or deaf, it is the same."
SABERNATH2
"How sad this bitterness and dogmatism with the deaf, and how cruel to force people out who don't conform to some obscure 'rule' or lifestyle norm, or communication mode. Is it not the Deaf (And I've read Galludet sites), who say come all deaf regardless, you are our brothers/sisters ? Has a rather hollow ring to it, when it seems all over the entire world these cultural deaf are making fellow deaf and HI lives a misery..."
MELDREW5
"The deaf community can be horribly prejudiced when it comes to a HOH woman and Deaf man. Before I got my two new hearing aids, the deaf community openly complained about my presence and signed unnecessary name-calling and ridiculed my deaf boyfriend for bringing me around. Some even complained to him that he should have a deaf woman only. Several fights actually almost happened at a barbeque and outside of the deaf church. This was the majority of the deaf people in the community. Only a small handful of the deaf persons accepted us together and minded their own business.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend, who is fully deaf and sign language is his only language, comes from a large and extended family where not one family member does sign language, but rather insists that he can 'read lips' which they think is an automatic skill when one is born deaf. With my input of attempting to correct this incorrect viewpoint, I was berated because they 'have known him all of his life' and of course, I knew nothing. Upon asking my boyfriend what he thinks of this, he tells me it has caused him relentless frustration and he had finally chosen to let his family members continue to tell themselves whatever it is they wish he were saying to them or answering them.
This problem is compounded by his annoyance with his deaf brethren and his wish to remain within the deaf community. To him, acceptance is a major issue. To many, since I talk, it is assumed that I hear as much. Not so. (His family members will try to talk to me from another room or upstairs or downstairs no matter how many times I tell them I am HOH. Just because I may finally hear my name being called, doesn't mean that I can clearly hear anything else.) They asked me several times as to why I do sign language. And my hearing aids may be similar to decorative earrings in their opinion. They have no idea why I wear hearing aids (since I talk) because previously they have only seen deaf persons who are not oral wearing hearing aids. It is so absolutely pointless to try to explain anything to his family members. I just ignore their hostility and go on with my relationship. I especially can't stand attending his family picnics, parties, etc. But his mother kept inviting his ex-girlfriends that are deaf, and I kept having to send them home with a reprimand. As my boyfriend and I live together in an apartment, I felt that I was within my rights.
