Communication almost never occurs at the same time, on the same level nor to the same degree. In a final word, I have learned that diversity should be embraced and accepted for what it is, not for how we can change it. Something I have learned: Allow people to speak & hear in the language they know the best and accept it for what it is at face value. You can't go wrong. Too often, we expect people to change 100% here or there to meet our very existence. I've seen a lot of disappointment come from this, a lot of tears, a lot of humility and a whole lot of confusion. I am sad to report that I still have trouble getting people to understand the sensitivity of the situation I still face, as this surgery did not turn me into a “hearing” individual. No CI recipient should see it this way. A cochlear implant will not. Sometimes you have to meet in the middle to have a successful outcome. I say that wisely having experienced both sides of the splintered fence in one lifetime or another. One chapter of your book will end while another will begin. Both chapters are good if you can accept them for what they are.
There are days when I feel as if people think I have superhuman qualities just because of this surgery & outcome. Certainly, I do not. There are still things I cannot do and I half expect I may never be able to accomplish but I spend every waking day working hard at being able to do them. There are new things I realized I can do now that I could not do before surgery too. There are even things I can do that hearing humans cannot do (shhh!) but that is not the purpose of the implant. Technology has given me that ability.
I still struggle with large meeting teleconference calls without CART or interpretive services (I may get 60-70% of it on my own if communicating in spoken American English, clearly, succinctly and one person speaking at a time) but I can now sit in a college classroom and take my own notes without any assistance. Register that, people! So yes, it is far more complicated than it sounds.
Attending the EMT course taught me a great deal, about my abilities, and they have changed for the better. I learned that I might be able to understand every word the instructor in front of me spoke (no matter how fast she was) but hearing someone sitting fifteen feet behind me ask a question unexpectedly is still not reachable 100 percent. I might get a word or two on that. Expect to make seating accommodations a factor for all meetings you experience. For the majority of the large work related meetings I still request CART and have now begun to utilize remote cart services for its added effectiveness and independence. It removes the need for a third person interpreter in obvious existence and makes me feel far more confident than the alternative method and still does the job. I find that sensitivity training could be a highly rewarding factor in the workplace.
Not only that but remote cart can help a whole lot of others (hearing, etc) reflect back and learn from mistakes they make when you are willing to share information. Interesting, no?
I can honestly admit that I make far more communication mistakes now than I thought I did before. I’m also far more willing to accept responsibility for failure than I was before. I have come to see myself as more "normal". I have relaxed a bit. People’s voices take on tones of meaning and there are so many different ways to say one sentence that it can change the whole working conversation in a heartbeat. I am not as afraid as I used to be to have people repeat themselves if the content deems worth knowing. For those that understand the term “selective hearing” you will come to practice and embrace it wisely.
People state my facial expressions have relaxed and I do not look as stressed trying to concentrate. Even my own voice sounds better they say. I do not recognize that difference but I do recognize that people I talked to before surgery now sound better now than they did before! I find that it would be nice to learn more about cracking “jokes” with people and having them feel “at ease” in my presence. They still don’t and I can’t figure out what it is that they fear.
I have come to see the personality differences of individuals far more in advance. This is good! There are very few if no miscommunications with my family and friends anymore and if there are, they are often due to the tone/meaning of voice thing, which I am still grasping. Meeting strangers for the first time is not so daunting. I write far few, wordy emails than before and I spend a lot less time on the computer. Rather, than carrying around a Sidekick II, an OGO or stopping to use the Relay Service as often, I carry a Motorola V710 cell phone or try to take every opportunity to communicate face to face. For some reason, I still prefer that people approach me first. Maybe that is still a fear I need to overcome and thus, part of my reasoning for taking EMT coursework.
